Coping Skill of the Week: “This Is Now” Re-Anchor

Every family system runs on roles.

When you’re triggered, your body doesn’t ask permission, it reacts. A sound, a smell, a facial expression can pull you into an old emotional memory before your mind has time to catch up. You might suddenly feel small, tense, defensive, or foggy without understanding why.

The “This Is Now” Re-Anchor is a micro-practice for those moments. It helps your nervous system remember that the current situation is different from the one it’s confusing it with. The goal isn’t to eliminate the trigger; it’s to remind your body that it’s safe enough to stay present.

Step 1: Notice the Pull of the Past

The first cue is usually physical a quickening heartbeat, shallow breath, or tight jaw. Instead of pushing it away, pause and name it. You can quietly say, “Something old just showed up.” That acknowledgment prevents shame from taking over and invites curiosity instead of judgment.

Step 2: Orient to the Present

Look around the room. Find five colors you can see, four sounds you can hear, three things you can touch. These sensory anchors remind the brain of where you actually are. Feel your feet or the weight of your body in the chair. The more physical data your brain gets, the faster it recalibrates.

Step 3: Breathe Safety Back In

Inhale through your nose for four counts, hold for two, and exhale through your mouth for six. Slow exhalations activate the parasympathetic nervous system...the body’s natural brake pedal. With each breath, silently repeat:

“That was then. This is now.”

Step 4: Re-Enter the Moment

Once you feel your breath and body settle, re-engage with the present. Speak, listen, or move, but do it from this regulated place. You’ve just reminded your nervous system that it doesn’t have to defend the past in order to be safe in the present.

The “This Is Now” Re-Anchor is simple, but it’s powerful. Every time you practice it, you’re teaching your brain that awareness equals safety. And with enough repetition, that becomes your new default setting for peace.