Coping Skill of the Week: JOMO

What If Saying “No” Isn’t a Loss… But a Win for Your Nervous System?

This week’s feeling is overcommitted and if you’re here, there’s a good chance your calendar has been doing the talking for your nervous system.

So let’s flip the script. Instead of fearing what you might miss when you say no, what if you could celebrate what you gain? Enter this week’s coping skill:

JOMO – The Joy of Missing Out.

Not just a trendy phrase. A real, grounded practice in choosing presence over pressure, boundaries over burnout, and alignment over obligation.

From FOMO to JOMO: Why This Shift Matters

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) runs the show in an overcommitted life. It whispers:

“What if they forget about you?”

“You’ll regret skipping that opportunity.”

“You’ll fall behind if you rest.”

But JOMO is the quiet truth underneath all that noise.

It says:

“You are allowed to opt out of what drains you.”

“Your time and energy are valuable—and you get to decide how to spend them.”

“Missing out on what doesn’t serve you is actually… peace.”

Shifting from FOMO to JOMO is more than a mindset. It’s a coping skill that rewires your relationship with boundaries, capacity, and identity.

Why JOMO Works (Psychologically and Nervously)

Practicing JOMO interrupts the cycle of nervous system overextension by:

Calming the sympathetic “go-go-go” response

Reducing emotional reactivity and social comparison

Increasing internal safety by honoring your limits

Building self-trust (you get to choose what’s best for you)

Research shows that when people consciously protect their time and reduce unnecessary commitments, they report higher levels of well-being, creativity, and relationship satisfaction. Turns out, joy multiplies when you stop forcing yourself to be everywhere.

How to Practice JOMO: A Simple Framework

✅ Time required: 10–15 minutes

✅ Tool: Pen and paper, or just a quiet moment

✅ Mindset: Curious, not critical

Step 1: Identify Your “Shoulds”

List anything you’ve recently said yes to out of guilt, fear, or habit.

Ask: Did I want to say yes, or did I feel like I had to?

Step 2: Name the Hidden Fear

Next to each item, name the fear you’re trying to avoid.

(“They’ll be mad,” “I’ll fall behind,” “They won’t think I care.”)

Step 3: Flip It to JOMO

Now reframe.

Ask: What am I gaining if I let this go?

Peace? Rest? Time with your kids? A real lunch break? Emotional space? Write the gain next to each fear. That’s the Joy of Missing Out in action.

What JOMO Might Look Like in Real Life

Letting the group chat go quiet for the night and watching your show guilt-free Saying no to an event without apologizing or explaining. Skipping an opportunity because your plate is full, and trusting another will come. Choosing solitude over small talk. Canceling a commitment and giving that time back to your nervous system.

JOMO isn’t about being antisocial. It’s about being pro-self.

Reminder: Missing Out on the Noise Lets You Hear Yourself Again

JOMO is about more than saying no. It’s about remembering what yes really means.

When you choose not to attend, respond, produce, or show up for something that isn’t aligned, you’re actually showing up for yourself.

This week, let JOMO be your reset.

Not because you’re avoiding life, but because you’re choosing it on your own terms.